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My Most Memorable Moment

A writing I had to do for my new school and thought should put here as an apology for not posting in forever, life got in the way but good news I will be double-posting this new week!


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When you read “memorable moments”, you expect a happy story. Perhaps hanging out with your friends or spending the holidays with your family. That’s not the case for me. My most memorable moment is not heartwarming or exciting, mine is bittersweet.


When I was in P5, I made a few friends. We sat next to each other so we were put in groups often. And we were inseparable. We had inside jokes and nicknames and sometimes we’d laugh about things that would seem nonsensical to everyone else.


It was like we were in our own little paradise. We’d eat lunch together, sometimes we’d copy each others’ homework answers, come up with funny stories about our teachers, chaotic 11-year-old shenanigans.


But then the year ended, and one of them left our school. I was put into a whole new class with people I only knew in passing. We drifted apart, and we didn’t talk much after that. Then I switched schools, and I never saw them again.


Then one day a couple of years ago, I was tidying my room when I found my old notebook. I flipped through them and realized there were so many pages and passages dedicated to those three friends. I wrote down every memorable moment from that year, at some point I believed we were going to be friends forever.


And in that moment, rereading the things I’ve written about them, feeling the sadness of us drifting apart in full force, I realized so many things.


I never actually said goodbye to any of them. I didn’t say goodbye to Anthea when she left in P6, I had her number and I thought we’d stay in touch. Myran and Teen probably didn’t even know I was switching schools.


That was the memorable moment, it was when I learnt that friendships don’t last forever. That people who mean everything to you could suddenly leave. That maybe you don’t actually mean that much to that special person in your heart, maybe you were just a chapter in their lives when they took up a whole book in yours.


There’s a quote from a show I watch: “That’s life, Betty. You say hello and you walk alongside someone for a while, and then you say goodbye.” People say goodbyes are hard, when a friend’s moving or breaking up with a partner. But the most painful ones are those left unsaid. The goodbyes that were never explained, those that simply happened.


In that moment I wondered what would’ve happened if we never drifted apart, I realized it might not be as fun as I imagined. For years all I’ve had to remember them by were the memories. I’ve created this idea of them in my head when they could’ve changed so drastically after 3 or so years. I miss the memory of them, the memories of all the fun we had. But it’s not like I can go back and revisit them, I can’t recreate memories, the best I can do is to remember and never forget.


In that moment I swore I will never forget them. Even though it’s hard to think about them, because everytime I do I also think of the fact that they’re gone. Those friends that I’ve loved are basically gone. And really, even if I wanted to forget, how am I supposed to do that when they’ve given me so much to remember?


In that moment I promised myself I won’t let it happen again. I won’t let people who mean so much to me slip through my fingers so easily again. And so far I’ve kept that promise. I try my best to contact and hang out with old friends once in a while, to tell them how much they mean to me. I’ve learnt my lesson, I’m hanging on tighter this time.


This time, I’m doing what I never did for them, doing what I should’ve done all those years ago.


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